Thursday, August 20, 2009


"There's a tea party in Zoar. Do you want to go?" My mother's voice, shrill and excited. "Sure" I answered.

Honest to Goodness- I was thinking pretty cups and saucers, maybe a cucumber sandwich. Nancy was thinking about Sweeping the Nation. Driving out the Democrats. My mother, the activist? Who knew?

There's a word that keeps surfacing lately. REINVENT- as in reinvent yourself! I seem to see it everywhere I go. It's probably just my frame of mind- like when you are pregnant and see expectant mother's everywhere.

I can't get away, however, from the notion that everything in my life has changed. Obviously not external- cause I'm sitting in the same seat of the same house with the same people asleep upstairs. Still, it is apparent that a lot of the surface things that were important a year ago have slipped away. I can't get away from the thought that this is a transition time.

I have a song in my head that has been playing over and over:

When the music fades - And all is stripped away - And I simply come - Longing just to bring - Something that's of worth - That will bless Your heart - I'll bring you more than a song For a song in itself - Is not what you have required - You search much deeper within - Through the ways things appear - You're looking into my heart

I'm coming back to the heart of worship - And its all about You - All about You, Jesus - I'm sorry Lord for the thing I've made it -When its all about You - Its all about You

King of endless worth No one could express How much You deserve -Though I'm weak and poor All I have is Yours- Every single breath -I'll bring you more than a song- For a song in itself Is not what you have required- You search much deeper within -Through the ways things appear -You're looking into my heart
(Heart of Worship- Sonic Flood)

I don't know what I'll do about the tea party. I'm still trying to figure out when my mother turned into an activist.
What does seem obvious is that the "reinventing" I do today will determine what I will be when I am my mother's age.

I've spent a lot of time wondering about what makes a life well lived.

It seems important to look deep within....

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  1. I don't think your mom "turned into" an activist...maybe, like you, she is "reinventing herself"...but I like to think maybe more that she is "rediscovering" or simply just "remembering" herself...
    When Rachel Remen's mom died, she simply turned to Rachel and said.."I am satisfied"..I think that is a goal for all of us..

  2. ummmm.... love that..... what more could one want than to come to the end of their life and say "I am satisfied"...

    wonder what is inside of that word- satisfied- implies not to much/ not to little...just right...