Dan and Nate are close to leaving Indianna and will be home this afternoon
Alex and I will be leaving for Indianna where he will spend a week at diabetic camp.... probably his last one....
It's been a great place for him to go every summer. I remember the first year- he was 10- I was such a wreck about leaving him with total strangers that I went too and spent a week being "nurse" to a bunch of 10y/o girls with diabetes. The girls complained that our laughing woke them up in the morning- only fair- we were up half the night sneaking in to check their blood sugars! I think I had more fun than he did that year! What a great place- what great people.... The camp has quite the international flavor as there are a good many kids from Russia who attend.... I remember fondly my little one from Khavastan (sp?) She must be all grown up now.... I heard that she is planning to be a nurse....
I was assigned a doctor that year also- who spoke no English. We smiled, nodded and somehow managed to communicate nicely...
Alex and I have had a great week.... We went to his college orientation on Thursday. Friday he went out and got himself a full time job! All on his own- with no helpful advice from mom! Even picked out his own clothes! He'll start the week he comes back and work until school starts. Halleluhah.
Last night I sat on the porch swing and watched him put on a one man Harlem globetrotters show...."hey mom, watch this" It seems that no matter how old they get, men never lose the boy inside (at least the good ones don't!)
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
nuthins
The wedding was beautiful.... perfect even...
Spent Father's Day at brother Bill's house- how they managed to pull off a Father's Day get together the day after the wedding is beyond me- but it was a lovely day. Weather was perfect- kids all had a great time splashing and reconnecting. Lost of good visiting....
Great to see my nephew Mike- with his lovely wife and adorable toddler home from California. Seems like just yesterday Mike was the toddler! It's official- I'm old!
Dan and Nate left for camp Sunday morning- so they missed the Father's Day festivities- think they are enjoying camp enough to make up for that however.... They always have a great time...
The boys pooled their resources to take Dan to an Indians game the Sunday before- so all in all, he should have had a great dad's day this year..
The patriarchs in our family are looking old- that is hard to see....
It is the middle of the night and I am just rambling- so back to bed! I've discovered Facebook- which seems to be a dangerous time waster! but entertaining!
Night!
Spent Father's Day at brother Bill's house- how they managed to pull off a Father's Day get together the day after the wedding is beyond me- but it was a lovely day. Weather was perfect- kids all had a great time splashing and reconnecting. Lost of good visiting....
Great to see my nephew Mike- with his lovely wife and adorable toddler home from California. Seems like just yesterday Mike was the toddler! It's official- I'm old!
Dan and Nate left for camp Sunday morning- so they missed the Father's Day festivities- think they are enjoying camp enough to make up for that however.... They always have a great time...
The boys pooled their resources to take Dan to an Indians game the Sunday before- so all in all, he should have had a great dad's day this year..
The patriarchs in our family are looking old- that is hard to see....
It is the middle of the night and I am just rambling- so back to bed! I've discovered Facebook- which seems to be a dangerous time waster! but entertaining!
Night!
Saturday, June 20, 2009
Today is my nephew Mark's wedding day....
In an hour we will gather at the church, to watch Mark and Nicole promise their lives to each other.... Their eyes will glowing- she will be beautiful- he will be beaming....
It has been storming the last couple days- winds and rains, branches falling to the ground.... Suddenly, it seems that the sun has broken through and is shining just for them....
It was that way on our wedding day 20 years ago...
Mark entered the world happy and content. It seems he has never changed... Nicole seems to share his outlook.....
I hope that as they go through life- though the storms will rage around them- that they will find lasting peace and contentment with each other...
In an hour we will gather at the church, to watch Mark and Nicole promise their lives to each other.... Their eyes will glowing- she will be beautiful- he will be beaming....
It has been storming the last couple days- winds and rains, branches falling to the ground.... Suddenly, it seems that the sun has broken through and is shining just for them....
It was that way on our wedding day 20 years ago...
Mark entered the world happy and content. It seems he has never changed... Nicole seems to share his outlook.....
I hope that as they go through life- though the storms will rage around them- that they will find lasting peace and contentment with each other...
Saturday, June 6, 2009
celebrate...
There definitely is something healthy about finding a place to dump the junk and celebrate what is good....
I have been dumping some junk here on the pages of this blog- but I am noticing that I am walking in this world with a sense of freedom that I haven't experienced for awhile....
It feels good not to hold everything inside....
It feels good to be mindful.....
Hospice has felt very heavy these last few months- while trying to deal with all that we are dealing with here..
Yesterday I was able to find some moments that made me remember what I love- an elderly lady with the softest hands and the bluest eyes. She kept my hand between hers and stroked it while she talked. She told me about traveling to this country from Scotland on a boat when she was 5 years old- told me about her daddy and how he worked in a coal mine to bring each of his children- one by one- to this country. Her eyes changed as she talked- I could see reflected there the love of her father....
Hours later I sat in a room laughing and crying as a grandmother told me of her frustration- she and her granddaughter have made plans to get matching tatoos..... The girl's father finally consented- and now grandma is not up to the adventure.... The granddaughter assured her that she was going to carry out the scheme and get the tattoo they had planned- so she will always have a piece of grandma with her....
What is it that binds us together with those we love? It is not something that can be seen..... It is more than a feeling..... but whatever it is- it is here long after we are gone....
Today feels like a perfect June day... the air is cool this morning, the sun is rising with promise. The birds are singing and outside my window, pink roses bloom.
There are boys in the beds and on the couches. In a few short years, I imagine those beds and those couches will be empty- it is good to know that the memories will live on....
I have been dumping some junk here on the pages of this blog- but I am noticing that I am walking in this world with a sense of freedom that I haven't experienced for awhile....
It feels good not to hold everything inside....
It feels good to be mindful.....
Hospice has felt very heavy these last few months- while trying to deal with all that we are dealing with here..
Yesterday I was able to find some moments that made me remember what I love- an elderly lady with the softest hands and the bluest eyes. She kept my hand between hers and stroked it while she talked. She told me about traveling to this country from Scotland on a boat when she was 5 years old- told me about her daddy and how he worked in a coal mine to bring each of his children- one by one- to this country. Her eyes changed as she talked- I could see reflected there the love of her father....
Hours later I sat in a room laughing and crying as a grandmother told me of her frustration- she and her granddaughter have made plans to get matching tatoos..... The girl's father finally consented- and now grandma is not up to the adventure.... The granddaughter assured her that she was going to carry out the scheme and get the tattoo they had planned- so she will always have a piece of grandma with her....
What is it that binds us together with those we love? It is not something that can be seen..... It is more than a feeling..... but whatever it is- it is here long after we are gone....
Today feels like a perfect June day... the air is cool this morning, the sun is rising with promise. The birds are singing and outside my window, pink roses bloom.
There are boys in the beds and on the couches. In a few short years, I imagine those beds and those couches will be empty- it is good to know that the memories will live on....
Friday, June 5, 2009
nothings
I seem to be consumed with an unending sense of loss right now..... thankfully all of these losses are "small"- relatively speaking
Someone came to the office yesterday to leave a donation in memory of his wife.... his loss is huge and clearly visable
Palpable...
Still- a loss is a loss and needs to be dealt with.....
Feels like it would be easy to slip into bitter, angry, frustrated thinking.... that is where my mind tends to go.... mulling over the what ifs and could have beens. It is very easy to get stuck there.
I think that is why I write- though sometimes I feel like a freaking pollyanna..... but it is something that can change my mindset.....
Paul talks about forgetting what is behind and pressing forward toward what is ahead... Jim Collins talks about the Stockdale principle- an unending certainty that one will prevail..... Obama talked about the audacity of hope..... I've never read the book, but I like the title.....
I suppose to press forward toward what is ahead, one needs to have a vision of where one wants to be...
I can't sit here staring at a screen- I must go to work....
it seems silly to post this- but I guess I will....
Someone came to the office yesterday to leave a donation in memory of his wife.... his loss is huge and clearly visable
Palpable...
Still- a loss is a loss and needs to be dealt with.....
Feels like it would be easy to slip into bitter, angry, frustrated thinking.... that is where my mind tends to go.... mulling over the what ifs and could have beens. It is very easy to get stuck there.
I think that is why I write- though sometimes I feel like a freaking pollyanna..... but it is something that can change my mindset.....
Paul talks about forgetting what is behind and pressing forward toward what is ahead... Jim Collins talks about the Stockdale principle- an unending certainty that one will prevail..... Obama talked about the audacity of hope..... I've never read the book, but I like the title.....
I suppose to press forward toward what is ahead, one needs to have a vision of where one wants to be...
I can't sit here staring at a screen- I must go to work....
it seems silly to post this- but I guess I will....
Monday, June 1, 2009
this and that
Got up and walked this morning just as the sky was beginnning to show the light of day and the birds were waking up from their nests.
Always one of my favorite things to do and I would like to say I enjoyed it- but truthfully, I hurt in every fiber of my being...... feel like I spent the winter on the rack in the Tower of London...
Every part of me feels twisted into knots...... isn't it amazing how our insides affect our outsides...
Hopefully the knots will loosen as we move into the warm healing days of summer....
My mom had 2 cousins that were more like sisters. (Our family tree has branches in the mountains of W Va!) Mary Margaret and Mary Emma. I could never, for the life of me, remember which one was which.
I took my mom to see them in January. We spent an afternoon with old pictures, old letters, old recipies, old memories. It was a good day.
Mary ( I'm pretty sure it is Emma ) was diagnosed with AML in late March or early April. She passed away on Saturday. I am sad for my mom and sad for her family....... and it boggles my mind to think that we sat there on that Saturday afternoon, mulling over the old memories with no idea that both our lives would be torn unsunder by those same 3 letters.... Somehow I have the notion that we both walked through the same minefield and while my family is crawling out on the other side- hers took a direct hit....
Mary's daughter used the Caring Bridge website and reminded us all in her last posting to be good to the ones we love. Isn't it funny how it always takes something like that to remind us- and funny how quickly we forget....
I must get ready for work...... Walking makes me want to write, and writing makes me want to read. Thomas Lynch says that writing and reading are really just 2 sides of the same conversation....
I read Katherine Hepburn's memoirs over the weekend- and now I see that I have her "voice" in my head.... disjointed thoughts, scraps of this and that, woven together like a patchwork quilt....
Always one of my favorite things to do and I would like to say I enjoyed it- but truthfully, I hurt in every fiber of my being...... feel like I spent the winter on the rack in the Tower of London...
Every part of me feels twisted into knots...... isn't it amazing how our insides affect our outsides...
Hopefully the knots will loosen as we move into the warm healing days of summer....
My mom had 2 cousins that were more like sisters. (Our family tree has branches in the mountains of W Va!) Mary Margaret and Mary Emma. I could never, for the life of me, remember which one was which.
I took my mom to see them in January. We spent an afternoon with old pictures, old letters, old recipies, old memories. It was a good day.
Mary ( I'm pretty sure it is Emma ) was diagnosed with AML in late March or early April. She passed away on Saturday. I am sad for my mom and sad for her family....... and it boggles my mind to think that we sat there on that Saturday afternoon, mulling over the old memories with no idea that both our lives would be torn unsunder by those same 3 letters.... Somehow I have the notion that we both walked through the same minefield and while my family is crawling out on the other side- hers took a direct hit....
Mary's daughter used the Caring Bridge website and reminded us all in her last posting to be good to the ones we love. Isn't it funny how it always takes something like that to remind us- and funny how quickly we forget....
I must get ready for work...... Walking makes me want to write, and writing makes me want to read. Thomas Lynch says that writing and reading are really just 2 sides of the same conversation....
I read Katherine Hepburn's memoirs over the weekend- and now I see that I have her "voice" in my head.... disjointed thoughts, scraps of this and that, woven together like a patchwork quilt....
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