Well, I found a bit of fun- or maybe it found me
My son, Nate, wandered into my office on Sunday night with a bit of a bemused expression. "mom" (tentatively) "remember that fairy tale I was supposed to write? Well....." There was nothing else for me to do but put my fingers to the keyboard and begin to take dictation. "A Not So Ordinary Fairy Tale" was born. He created Sir Edwin, the ugly knight- and wicked Queen Pelosi (you can infer whatever you like from that) and the laughter began. My older son, Alex came to see what all the noise was about- and by the time Pretty Princess Patricia was hit on the noggin and fell into a prolonged persistent vegetative state, and Edwin was sobbing to find that his true love was now a carrot..... we were rolling on the floor. I worried aloud that this particular piece of homework might receive a Fminus and but Nate calmly tucked it in his binder and declared it didn't matter- "cos we have a family that laughs alot"
I wasn't so sure about this blogging to begin with- but let me tell you- I would have let that moment pass me by if it were not for this blog. If I had not been writing notes about looking for fun and finding some joy.... It still would have happened, but it would not have remained in my memory as it has now. I think this blog is helping me, perhaps, to become a little more intentional and to Finally live in the moment.
I noticed the same thing yesterday. I drove a hundred or so miles for 2 appointments. Normally I would have completed one, then curled up in the car with some fast food while waiting for the second. Yesterday though, I was determined to have some Fun despite (or because of?) my circumstances. There I was in the quaintest of small towns. I drove determinedly until I found a Mayberry diner, then I lingered and watched the locals. People watching is one of my favorite occupations, but I rarely remember it anymore. I created stories about each of them, and ruminated for a bit about how it would feel to be a waitress there- and I had a blast.... I came home relaxed and happy instead of snarly and tired- and I would like to thank you, the blogging community for that!
so- here's to fun in a cold Ohio January- and here's to more fun in the months to come...
Monday, January 26, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
dogs and things
what does the dysplexic/agnostic do all day?
sits and tries to figure out if there really is a dog.....
old joke- sorry!but it came to my mind today, when I Finally got my picture attached to my blog.Quite a feat for a computer inept 50 y/oI had to call upon one of my favorite teenagers-opps, sorry! young adult- for assistance. Samantha is one of my favorite people and always has a bit of insight that leaves me with something to think about.We posted the picture of Emma and I today (it took her <5minutes) and chatted a bit. Sam said that she has a very logical mind (she does) and it always seems to her that the spelling of the words dog and God indicate to her that one is a reflection of the other....I've been pondering on that ever since- and it seems to me that she made a great point. Always loving, no matter what my faults- always patient- always kind- always ready to protect me- one who loves me unconditionally..... perhaps a dog does reflect some of those traits far better than a human.....
We had such a great message at New Pointe Community Church today- about having FUN of all things- and as this was my one resolution for the year, I sat with my ears wide open. A couple things Dave said have really stuck with me- that Joy is an experience of God's constant presence in our lives- that acknowledging His constant presence is a way to Joy- that comparisons (comparing people) can rob us of joy....Between the 2 things, I am thinking that I need to continue to explore who God really is....
I remember a day quite a few years ago when we sat in a team meeting and talked about a patient with pain that was out of control. He was one of my favorite people- and when the meeting was over I followed our hospice pastor to the parking lot, asking what else he thought we could do for this man. I have never forgotten the wise words he gave me that day. "He doesn't know how much God loves him Sally. If you can give him anything try to show him how much God loves him"I have never forgotten that day or those words.
Seems to be a recurring theme lately- how much does God love me? How much does God love us? Posted by Sally at 3:51 PM 0 comments
sits and tries to figure out if there really is a dog.....
old joke- sorry!but it came to my mind today, when I Finally got my picture attached to my blog.Quite a feat for a computer inept 50 y/oI had to call upon one of my favorite teenagers-opps, sorry! young adult- for assistance. Samantha is one of my favorite people and always has a bit of insight that leaves me with something to think about.We posted the picture of Emma and I today (it took her <5minutes) and chatted a bit. Sam said that she has a very logical mind (she does) and it always seems to her that the spelling of the words dog and God indicate to her that one is a reflection of the other....I've been pondering on that ever since- and it seems to me that she made a great point. Always loving, no matter what my faults- always patient- always kind- always ready to protect me- one who loves me unconditionally..... perhaps a dog does reflect some of those traits far better than a human.....
We had such a great message at New Pointe Community Church today- about having FUN of all things- and as this was my one resolution for the year, I sat with my ears wide open. A couple things Dave said have really stuck with me- that Joy is an experience of God's constant presence in our lives- that acknowledging His constant presence is a way to Joy- that comparisons (comparing people) can rob us of joy....Between the 2 things, I am thinking that I need to continue to explore who God really is....
I remember a day quite a few years ago when we sat in a team meeting and talked about a patient with pain that was out of control. He was one of my favorite people- and when the meeting was over I followed our hospice pastor to the parking lot, asking what else he thought we could do for this man. I have never forgotten the wise words he gave me that day. "He doesn't know how much God loves him Sally. If you can give him anything try to show him how much God loves him"I have never forgotten that day or those words.
Seems to be a recurring theme lately- how much does God love me? How much does God love us? Posted by Sally at 3:51 PM 0 comments
dogs and things
what does the dysplexic/agnostic do all day?
sits and tries to figure out if there really is a dog.....
old joke- sorry!
but it came to my mind today, when I Finally got my picture attached to my blog.
Quite a feat for a computer inept 50 y/o
I had to call upon one of my favorite teenagers-opps, sorry! young adult- for assistance. Samantha is one of my favorite people and always has a bit of insight that leaves me with something to think about.
We posted the picture of Emma and I today (it took her <5minutes) and chatted a bit. Sam said that she has a very logical mind (she does) and it always seems to her that the spelling of the words dog and God indicate to her that one is a reflection of the other....
I've been pondering on that ever since- and it seems to me that she made a great point. Always loving, no matter what my faults- always patient- always kind- always ready to protect me- one who loves me unconditionally..... perhaps a dog does reflect some of those traits far better than a human.....
We had such a great message at New Pointe Community Church today- about having FUN of all things- and as this was my one resolution for the year, I sat with my ears wide open. A couple things Dave said have really stuck with me- that Joy is an experience of God's constant presence in our lives- that acknowledging His constant presence is a way to Joy- that comparisons (comparing people) can rob us of joy....
Between the 2 things, I am thinking that I need to continue to explore who God really is....
I remember a day quite a few years ago when we sat in a team meeting and talked about a patient with pain that was out of control. He was one of my favorite people- and when the meeting was over I followed our hospice pastor to the parking lot, asking what else he thought we could do for this man. I have never forgotten the wise words he gave me that day. "He doesn't know how much God loves him Sally. If you can give him anything try to show him how much God loves him"
I have never forgotten that day or those words. I'm thinking it is something I need to learn myself.
sits and tries to figure out if there really is a dog.....
old joke- sorry!
but it came to my mind today, when I Finally got my picture attached to my blog.
Quite a feat for a computer inept 50 y/o
I had to call upon one of my favorite teenagers-opps, sorry! young adult- for assistance. Samantha is one of my favorite people and always has a bit of insight that leaves me with something to think about.
We posted the picture of Emma and I today (it took her <5minutes) and chatted a bit. Sam said that she has a very logical mind (she does) and it always seems to her that the spelling of the words dog and God indicate to her that one is a reflection of the other....
I've been pondering on that ever since- and it seems to me that she made a great point. Always loving, no matter what my faults- always patient- always kind- always ready to protect me- one who loves me unconditionally..... perhaps a dog does reflect some of those traits far better than a human.....
We had such a great message at New Pointe Community Church today- about having FUN of all things- and as this was my one resolution for the year, I sat with my ears wide open. A couple things Dave said have really stuck with me- that Joy is an experience of God's constant presence in our lives- that acknowledging His constant presence is a way to Joy- that comparisons (comparing people) can rob us of joy....
Between the 2 things, I am thinking that I need to continue to explore who God really is....
I remember a day quite a few years ago when we sat in a team meeting and talked about a patient with pain that was out of control. He was one of my favorite people- and when the meeting was over I followed our hospice pastor to the parking lot, asking what else he thought we could do for this man. I have never forgotten the wise words he gave me that day. "He doesn't know how much God loves him Sally. If you can give him anything try to show him how much God loves him"
I have never forgotten that day or those words. I'm thinking it is something I need to learn myself.
Friday, January 16, 2009
a week...
Its been such a week- I feel that I've hardly had a moment to take a breath. Trying to work more, as my husband lost his job about 6 weeks ago. I'm thankful that I can. We have yet to see an unemployment check- and suddenly I am wondering about all those families who have lost their source of income in the last month. So many. Suddenly, in a very real way, I am gaining understanding.....
Because of the work that I do- I see so many families in times of crisis. Over and over again I am struck by the bravery and unselfishness that compells people to lay aside their own life and care for the person that they love. I ran into a wife of one of our patients a while ago. I remember well the talks we had, the tears that fell, the grief that had her in it's grip. I remember her agony and her suffering. Today she is calm, peaceful, cheerful- happy. She loved well, she grieved well and now she is living well. It blesses me to see her. It helps me to remember that no matter what the situation- it is a season. It will have an endpoint.
I spent most of yesterday at the hospital and left late in the afternoon. I stopped to see my last patient just as the sun was beginnning it's descent. It was lovely yesterday- thick white snow adorning big pine trees. I'm glad I enjoyed the scenery, for my car slipped off the road and I spent the better part of the evening in their ditch. Oddly enough, it was a peaceful interlude in the day. AAA was coming- there was nothing to do. To dusky to read, not enough energy to write. And so I sat. And sat. I wrapped a blanket around me, not so much for warmth as for comfort. I watched the snow falling gently, and the pine trees fade into the shadow. The lights in the neighbors houses glowed dimly- not to close- just close enough for me to know I was not entirely alone. A quiet instrumental CD in the backround. I let myself sink into it - interrupted only occasionally by the texts of 2 teenage boys "r u ok" "k" I responded. I was loved. I was warm. The snow was falling. It wasn't a bad end to the day.....
Because of the work that I do- I see so many families in times of crisis. Over and over again I am struck by the bravery and unselfishness that compells people to lay aside their own life and care for the person that they love. I ran into a wife of one of our patients a while ago. I remember well the talks we had, the tears that fell, the grief that had her in it's grip. I remember her agony and her suffering. Today she is calm, peaceful, cheerful- happy. She loved well, she grieved well and now she is living well. It blesses me to see her. It helps me to remember that no matter what the situation- it is a season. It will have an endpoint.
I spent most of yesterday at the hospital and left late in the afternoon. I stopped to see my last patient just as the sun was beginnning it's descent. It was lovely yesterday- thick white snow adorning big pine trees. I'm glad I enjoyed the scenery, for my car slipped off the road and I spent the better part of the evening in their ditch. Oddly enough, it was a peaceful interlude in the day. AAA was coming- there was nothing to do. To dusky to read, not enough energy to write. And so I sat. And sat. I wrapped a blanket around me, not so much for warmth as for comfort. I watched the snow falling gently, and the pine trees fade into the shadow. The lights in the neighbors houses glowed dimly- not to close- just close enough for me to know I was not entirely alone. A quiet instrumental CD in the backround. I let myself sink into it - interrupted only occasionally by the texts of 2 teenage boys "r u ok" "k" I responded. I was loved. I was warm. The snow was falling. It wasn't a bad end to the day.....
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Pigpen
Sometimes I feel like Pigpen- you know, the character in the Charlie Brown comic strip...
It could be because we have 2 golden retrievors and I have to carry a lint brush every where I go!
But sometimes it feels like I carry things with me- pieces of all the people I have seen over the last decade. I wonder how many kitchens I have stood in, with a stranger in my arms, their tears sliding down to land on my shoulder. I wonder how many hands I have held, how many times my eyes have met someone elses and seen the dispair- and felt the dispair. I let myself absorb it sometimes, like a sponge- here let me take that from you for awhile, let me lighten your load.... I wonder how much of that I carry- how much of that we all carry....
In "A Charlie Brown Christmas" - Charlie Brown wondered about the cloud of dust that surrounded Pigpen- maybe he was carrying pieces of ancient Babylon. Always one of my favorite lines, though I can't quote it exactly. Charlie Brown often has wisdom that escapes the rest of us- it does make one wonder...
It could be because we have 2 golden retrievors and I have to carry a lint brush every where I go!
But sometimes it feels like I carry things with me- pieces of all the people I have seen over the last decade. I wonder how many kitchens I have stood in, with a stranger in my arms, their tears sliding down to land on my shoulder. I wonder how many hands I have held, how many times my eyes have met someone elses and seen the dispair- and felt the dispair. I let myself absorb it sometimes, like a sponge- here let me take that from you for awhile, let me lighten your load.... I wonder how much of that I carry- how much of that we all carry....
In "A Charlie Brown Christmas" - Charlie Brown wondered about the cloud of dust that surrounded Pigpen- maybe he was carrying pieces of ancient Babylon. Always one of my favorite lines, though I can't quote it exactly. Charlie Brown often has wisdom that escapes the rest of us- it does make one wonder...
Sunday, January 4, 2009
maybe
I'm not sure about this New Year's Resolution business this year. I normally make and break at least one in January. This year, I think, I feel a bit to weary to resolve to do anything- maybe...
I was talking with a couple friends at breakfast yesterday- and we decided in 2009, to resolve to have more fun. We tend to be a rather serious little group- maybe that's the very best thing for us to do!
I sat down last night with a pad of paper and my favorite pen. I decided to list all the good things that had happened in 2008. I was surprised to find out how many there actually were. Some required intentionality on my part- but most seemed to be a mixture- serindipity followed by action.
Here's the thing that I keep realizing- over and over... I don't understand how much God loves me.
I know that God Is. I know that God Loves. I know there is a God I can trust- I know there is a God that guides me. But to understand "how wide and how deep" He loves me- that I just don't get.
And here's the thing..... if I really believed that His plans are to "Prosper and not to harm"me, if I really believed- with my whole heart- that He loves me in the way that He says He does- well- what would I do with that? I think I would take more chances. I think I would try more things.
I'm not sure how to do this..... I think it has to do with going to the places where I find God- but I suspect it has more to do with opening my bible and not just reading it but marinating in it- reflecting on it- using all my senses to try and understand it..... I think it has to do with taking time to be still and get very quiet and just listen... Maybe it has to do with saying it "out loud" on the pages of this blog- that my intention this year is to discover and to live in the love that God has for me? maybe....
I was talking with a couple friends at breakfast yesterday- and we decided in 2009, to resolve to have more fun. We tend to be a rather serious little group- maybe that's the very best thing for us to do!
I sat down last night with a pad of paper and my favorite pen. I decided to list all the good things that had happened in 2008. I was surprised to find out how many there actually were. Some required intentionality on my part- but most seemed to be a mixture- serindipity followed by action.
Here's the thing that I keep realizing- over and over... I don't understand how much God loves me.
I know that God Is. I know that God Loves. I know there is a God I can trust- I know there is a God that guides me. But to understand "how wide and how deep" He loves me- that I just don't get.
And here's the thing..... if I really believed that His plans are to "Prosper and not to harm"me, if I really believed- with my whole heart- that He loves me in the way that He says He does- well- what would I do with that? I think I would take more chances. I think I would try more things.
I'm not sure how to do this..... I think it has to do with going to the places where I find God- but I suspect it has more to do with opening my bible and not just reading it but marinating in it- reflecting on it- using all my senses to try and understand it..... I think it has to do with taking time to be still and get very quiet and just listen... Maybe it has to do with saying it "out loud" on the pages of this blog- that my intention this year is to discover and to live in the love that God has for me? maybe....
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