back to work

Well, tomorrow it's back to work for me. I've been home an entire week (which is not nearly long enough) enjoying a "staycation" It turned out the Dan and Nate would be gone to camp the week I took off, and although I might have changed it- I kept the week for myself.
I chose to stay at home, just so our 19 y/o would have someone to be around for him

It was a good decision. Even though I took this week just for some Me time, M/T/W ended up being filled in by others. When a good friend called and wanted to get together on Thur or Fri- I suddenly balked, knowing how very much I am in need of a little alone time. She is a good friend- she understood, so I spend Thur/Fri doing not much of anything.

I floated for a bit in my brother's pool. Way out in the country- in the silence, covered by a blue sky- I floated and savored the sensation.
I slept in - well -until 8 or so, but I compensated with a couple naps.

I rested. I walked. I intended to read a little, but I found that my brain was so welcoming the silence, that even a book seemed a bit much.

Tomorrow I return- and I'm not sure I'm ready. I'm not sure what I want to be doing with myself at this point in my career. I felt, when I found the world of hospice, that I had come home. Suddenly- things seemed to make sense. I still feel that way, but I confess that I am weary. This last year has taken alot out of me. It has made me question alot of my beliefs. I'm not quite as sure of the fit as I was before.

Hopefully, I can ease back into work. I know, from experience, that by an hour or so after my return, I will be feeling that I never left.

I'm going to focus on being grateful for the time that I had. Focus on remembering how glad I was to see my guys when they returned home. Try to keep my emotions in neutral for a bit. Try to hold on to this week of respite.

In 2 weeks I will be off again- this time to be the nurse at our elementery school age camp. It is a total change of pace, and something I always look forward to.

Hopefully, knowing that week is coming will keep me from feeling pulled back into the fray.

how is summer going for all of you? hoping you are finding a break in your routine and refreshment in the heat of summer...



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