Saturday, March 14, 2009
The garbage bags were stacked by the curb last week, waiting for the big white truck to come and get them. My kids used to love to watch for that big white truck...
anyway, one bag must have been a little to close to the drive- when I backed out I ran right over it. Not only did I run over it, but it caught on something under the car and as I pulled away, I realized that I was dragging it with me. I pulled over slightly, got out- was dismayed to find that there were now holes in the bag and my garbage was laying out across Walnut Street for all the world to see....Took me a good 15-20 minutes to get all the trash picked up, the stupid bag unhooked, inspect the clothes, wash the hands and get on my way....
I drove off fuming a bit- and "it" hit me before I had reached the corner.... That really is what I do in my own life.... I had left that morning feeling aggravated and frustrated. I was mulling about people and problems- and I really was carrying alot of garbage from the past with me as I went to work.... Wonder how much of it I have left in a trail behind me?I've been reading Bernie Siegel lately- "Love, Medicine and Miracles" "Peace, Love & Healing" I've been watching Dan.... It seems to me that Dan is being forced to leave behind a lot of his stuff (garbage if you will) and get focused on what is important.... paying attention - being gratefulMaybe that is what this year is about for us..... getting focused, getting centered, being mindful, being grateful...... Paying attention.....
I went to my friend Becki Reiser's house yesterday to brush a horse. There is that old saying- "nothing is as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse" Applies to women too! That is good medicine.
I've been thinking about her (the horse- Lady) ever since..... I do believe I dreamed about her last night...Horses are such creatures of habit. If they do something once- they will do it again. This one wants to get to the gate- no matter where you want to lead her. She has a pattern - as soon as you start to lead her away she makes a circle- taking you with her- and voila! she has won and she is by the gate. It took her a few moments to realize that the apple in my pocket would only be hers if she left the gate....
Got me thinking about all the things I do out of habbit- wonder what good things I'm missing...This is definitely a different year for us- a defining year I would say.... Bernie says to look at this as a gift. So far, I think we have been reminded to find joy- to laugh- to have a merry heart...It has made a difference for us in these last 6 weeks...
Perhaps the nexts lessons are to dump the garbage and break some habbits.... I don't know.... but I believe I'll continue to ponder on it....
Saturday, March 14, 2009
gifts, garbage and habits
The garbage bags were stacked by the curb last week, waiting for the big white truck to come and get them. My kids used to love to watch for that big white truck...
anyway, one bag must have been a little to close to the drive- when I backed out I ran right over it. Not only did I run over it, but it caught on something under the car and as I pulled away, I realized that I was dragging it with me. I pulled over slightly, got out- was dismayed to find that there were now holes in the bag and my garbage was laying out across Walnut Street for all the world to see....
Took me a good 15-20 minutes to get all the trash picked up, the stupid bag unhooked, inspect the clothes, wash the hands and get on my way....
I drove off fuming a bit- and "it" hit me before I had reached the corner.... That really is what I do in my own life.... I had left that morning feeling aggravated and frustrated. I was mulling about people and problems- and I really was carrying alot of garbage from the past with me as I went to work.... Wonder how much of it I have left in a trail behind me?
I've been reading Bernie Siegel lately- "Love, Medicine and Miracles" "Peace, Love & Healing" I've been watching Dan.... It seems to me that Dan is being forced to leave behind a lot of his stuff (garbage if you will) and get focused on what is important.... paying attention - being grateful
Maybe that is what this year is about for us..... getting focused, getting centered, being mindful, being grateful...... Paying attention.....
I went to my friend Becki Reiser's house yesterday to brush a horse. There is that old saying- "nothing is as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse" Applies to women too! That is good medicine. I've been thinking about her (the horse- Lady) ever since..... I do believe I dreamed about her last night...
Horses are such creatures of habit. If they do something once- they will do it again. This one wants to get to the gate- no matter where you want to lead her. She has a pattern - as soon as you start to lead her away she makes a circle- taking you with her- and voila! she has won and she is by the gate. It took her a few moments to realize that the apple in my pocket would only be hers if she left the gate....
Got me thinking about all the things I do out of habbit- wonder what good things I'm missing...
This is definitely a different year for us- a defining year I would say.... Bernie says to look at this as a gift. So far, I think we have been reminded to find joy- to laugh- to have a merry heart...
It has made a difference for us in these last 6 weeks...
Perhaps the nexts lessons are to dump the garbage and break some habbits.... I don't know.... but I believe I'll continue to ponder on it....
anyway, one bag must have been a little to close to the drive- when I backed out I ran right over it. Not only did I run over it, but it caught on something under the car and as I pulled away, I realized that I was dragging it with me. I pulled over slightly, got out- was dismayed to find that there were now holes in the bag and my garbage was laying out across Walnut Street for all the world to see....
Took me a good 15-20 minutes to get all the trash picked up, the stupid bag unhooked, inspect the clothes, wash the hands and get on my way....
I drove off fuming a bit- and "it" hit me before I had reached the corner.... That really is what I do in my own life.... I had left that morning feeling aggravated and frustrated. I was mulling about people and problems- and I really was carrying alot of garbage from the past with me as I went to work.... Wonder how much of it I have left in a trail behind me?
I've been reading Bernie Siegel lately- "Love, Medicine and Miracles" "Peace, Love & Healing" I've been watching Dan.... It seems to me that Dan is being forced to leave behind a lot of his stuff (garbage if you will) and get focused on what is important.... paying attention - being grateful
Maybe that is what this year is about for us..... getting focused, getting centered, being mindful, being grateful...... Paying attention.....
I went to my friend Becki Reiser's house yesterday to brush a horse. There is that old saying- "nothing is as good for the inside of a man as the outside of a horse" Applies to women too! That is good medicine. I've been thinking about her (the horse- Lady) ever since..... I do believe I dreamed about her last night...
Horses are such creatures of habit. If they do something once- they will do it again. This one wants to get to the gate- no matter where you want to lead her. She has a pattern - as soon as you start to lead her away she makes a circle- taking you with her- and voila! she has won and she is by the gate. It took her a few moments to realize that the apple in my pocket would only be hers if she left the gate....
Got me thinking about all the things I do out of habbit- wonder what good things I'm missing...
This is definitely a different year for us- a defining year I would say.... Bernie says to look at this as a gift. So far, I think we have been reminded to find joy- to laugh- to have a merry heart...
It has made a difference for us in these last 6 weeks...
Perhaps the nexts lessons are to dump the garbage and break some habbits.... I don't know.... but I believe I'll continue to ponder on it....
Friday, March 6, 2009
plating
There is to much on my plate right now- I know that but I don't know what to do with it....
When dining well- things are "plated" and it is an art form
Things can also be thrown together into a casserole- when you have the right combination of ingredients- a casserole might work....
but I like things seperate.... right now I need to be able to see very clearly that the peas are seperate from the carrots and each are cooked to perfection...
Tried to go back to work today- very difficult. My role there is pretty undefined at the moment...
My head was here at home...
My primary obligation is here- my heart is here- my head is here- but I have to work and I have to function well...
We have so many people who want to help- but I don't know what to do with that- So many people are offering to bring food- yet we have no food! Gave the kids mac/cheese... there was a tiny window of opportunity when Dan actually wanted to eat- but by the time I had given him his IV, changed his dressing, etc etc- he was to tired and lost interest....
I logged on here in the middle of the night to try and sort out my thoughts.... the first thing that captured my attention was Dwight Mason's blog re: the Holy Spirit.....
I think I can go back to bed- rest and pray...
I think today will be ok- I will have to trust that it will.... People stopped and checked on Dan today-people will stop and check on Dan tomorrow. Then we have the weekend- and somehow this weekend I need to develop a plan. If I can't be here- I need to know he is OK here while I am gone...
I need to know what my priorities are.... and I need to rest- knowing that the Holy Spirit knows better than I what I need..... Where is that verse that says He understands your groanings when you cannot find the words?
I don't think it was any accident that when I logged on here in the middle of the night to try and sort through my anxieties that God was here before me- reminding me that He is in control......
When dining well- things are "plated" and it is an art form
Things can also be thrown together into a casserole- when you have the right combination of ingredients- a casserole might work....
but I like things seperate.... right now I need to be able to see very clearly that the peas are seperate from the carrots and each are cooked to perfection...
Tried to go back to work today- very difficult. My role there is pretty undefined at the moment...
My head was here at home...
My primary obligation is here- my heart is here- my head is here- but I have to work and I have to function well...
We have so many people who want to help- but I don't know what to do with that- So many people are offering to bring food- yet we have no food! Gave the kids mac/cheese... there was a tiny window of opportunity when Dan actually wanted to eat- but by the time I had given him his IV, changed his dressing, etc etc- he was to tired and lost interest....
I logged on here in the middle of the night to try and sort out my thoughts.... the first thing that captured my attention was Dwight Mason's blog re: the Holy Spirit.....
I think I can go back to bed- rest and pray...
I think today will be ok- I will have to trust that it will.... People stopped and checked on Dan today-people will stop and check on Dan tomorrow. Then we have the weekend- and somehow this weekend I need to develop a plan. If I can't be here- I need to know he is OK here while I am gone...
I need to know what my priorities are.... and I need to rest- knowing that the Holy Spirit knows better than I what I need..... Where is that verse that says He understands your groanings when you cannot find the words?
I don't think it was any accident that when I logged on here in the middle of the night to try and sort through my anxieties that God was here before me- reminding me that He is in control......
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